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On the Lighter Side

Lighten Up


Yet Another Reason to Become (More of) a Vegetarian: BECAUSE ITS FUN!

I regularly took my three-year-old son with me when shopping at the local supermarket .  We inevitably passed through the meat department. My son pointed to the blood-red packages and loudly asked me, "What's that Daddy?" I replied, much more quietly, "That is meat." He then said, just as loudly as before, "We don't eat meat, do we, Daddy!" He was correct, of course, and I told him so. He smiled, and in a voice that could easily be heard in the Produce department on the other side of the store, declared for all to hear: "We don't eat meat!  We're not Italian!"

I think he meant to say, "We're vegetarian," but I kinda like it better his way.

Those little candy hearts with I LUV U and BE MINE on them have a special, super secret: they make great children’s paints! I like to try this with kids: Have them collect their candy hearts, especially the purple ones. Grind them up, combine equal parts water and powdered candy, and stir.  Get out a model-sized paintbrush and white paper and have the children write their names in food paint. It works all too well. Then ask the kids what it does to their stomachs. Listen carefully to their answers and insights.

But there’s more!  When I taught junior high, I wondered where the girls’ rather weird colored hairdos came from. The girls 'fessed up: they dyed their hair with "Kool Aid."

Not a new idea, it turns out.  In The Wizard of Oz movie, the animals used as the Horse of a Different Color were colored, from fetlock to mane, with a mixture of "Jell-O" powder.

In summation, I concede that artificial colors are great for dying horses’ hair and painting pictures. But I am not convinced that we should voluntarily EAT paint. So read every label and vote with your dollars. Then send the only message that carries any weight in the food industry: DO NOT PURCHASE ANY FOOD THAT CONTAINS AN ARTIFICIAL FOOD COLOR.

It seems that this elephant woke up one morning with a very stuffy nose. Now to an elephant, a congested nose seems life threatening, so he gave away all his possessions, made funeral arrangements, and then went to a naturopathic doctor expecting to hear the worst. The doctor said, "Relax, you'll get better in a few days." That goes to show that just because your trunk is packed doesn't mean you're ready to go.

(adapted from Peter Shickele, aka PDQ Bach, in The Carnival of the Animals)

Andrew Saul is the author of the books FIRE YOUR DOCTOR! How to be Independently Healthy (reader reviews at ) and DOCTOR YOURSELF: Natural Healing that Works. (reviewed at )

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Andrew W. Saul


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